I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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