my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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