dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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