You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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