I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
