you're like a bully in the Christmas story
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
