i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize