Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize