I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
