And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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