She announced her abortion via fbk
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
