my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
