My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
