My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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