Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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