I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
