where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
