everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Who did Billy Mays play for?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
