i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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