i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
