why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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