I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
