hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
