is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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