So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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