just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
