You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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