thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
