Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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