Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize