Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
