plz talk dirty to me
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
