So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
