Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Acid is not a monday night drug
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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