I heard we made out
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
