so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
