Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
