Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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