i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
