Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize