I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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