Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
