dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
