We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
