Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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