I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
