there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
