That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
