I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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