grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
