do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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