Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
