my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
