Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
