whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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