do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
