32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
