She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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