So drunk its hurt
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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