at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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