Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
nutella sex= disaster
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
