we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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