He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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