i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
