What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
