he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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