No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
