At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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