what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize