Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
